I am afraid

July 2023

Nice to meet you.
I am afraid…

I graduated.
I have been longing for this moment for the past years.
From now on, I am free.
I’m free to choose what I learn.
And because I want to keep learning for the rest of my life it means:

The last weeks were the hardest.
I needed to finish my master thesis and study for my exams.
While all I wanted to do was read books and write about them,
make some drawings here and there,
and talk with interesting people.

An empty page is calling me.

Don’t understand me wrong, I’m happy that I did my study.
I got the opportunity to travel to wonderful distant places.
I developed a critical attitude.
I learned new languages.
But most of all: I met some wonderful people.

Now that I graduated, 9 unfinished drafts are staring back at me.
I don’t know were to start so I open a new one.
I stare at the blank canvas.
An empty page.
A new beginning.

It scares me.

I want to write, but something is holding me back.
Is it Resistance?
I am afraid…
But I am glad I wrote this anyway.

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